Two of our King's Bruton staff are Samaritan Listener volunteers. They tell us why they chose the Samaritans to give their time to...

Two of our King's Bruton staff are Samaritan Listeners. Read why they chose to volunteer

Michael Keogh
Librarian and Samaritan Listener Volunteer

You may remember studying An Inspector Calls for your GCSE English. The moral that I took from this text is that we are all responsible for each other, that we have a duty to care for our fellow beings. I am inspired by this; I believe that we should all do something to give back to the community, to give back to society of which we are a part. To this end, I think the most effective way of doing this is for each of us to actively contribute to charity work.   

The charity that I do voluntary work for is the Samaritans. The Samaritans was sent up in 1953 as a help line for those who are experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings. The aim is that that no one should be so isolated and unhappy that they feel that there is no alternative but to end their life; no one should need to commit suicide. The Samaritans offer emotional support to anyone who is feeling low, depressed or feels deeply isolated and alone; one does not have to be alone in the midst of suicidal thoughts, we are there with you, supporting you in whatever way we can. We are there when you are at your lowest. 

The name Samaritans refers to the parable of the good Samaritan, the person who was there and stood by the stranger when everyone else passed by and looked the other way,   

At the Samaritans we are given a very lengthy, thorough, and high-quality training to become what we term a “Listener”. We are not Councillors, we are Listeners; our role is to be there to listen to people who are in emotional distress, to be present with them. We do not judge, we do not insist on a plan of action, we are the good friend, the fellow human being who is always with you, we listen attentively. We work in four-hour shifts - sometimes we do double shifts that can last for the whole night. The Samaritans national helpline - 116 123 - is always free to use. At any one time there are about 400 listeners on shift around the country. We are always looking for more Samaritans, there are always more calls than we can handle as a service. There are a significant number of calls each day and night that are not answered, as we do not have enough listeners nationally. And the number of calls is increasing.    

At times I have had calls that have gone on for two, maybe three hours. I have had people who are not just contemplating suicide, they are in the process of committing suicide - my role is to stay with them, to be with them, wherever they are, whatever they are doing, and support them and be there for them. It can be extraordinarily intense, but immensely rewarding work. To feel at the end of the shift, that you have completed a two or three hour call in which someone who has been in the depths of despair and that, through your conversation, through the time you have spent with them, as a stranger, a voice on the end of the phone, someone that you have been with throughout the night, now has no need to end their life, is immensely rewarding. In some small and private way, you have saved a life. And no one knows. For me it’s a feeling that I have mattered, that I may have gone through a whole journey with this other person and ended up helping to save a life, and that the only person who will ever know is that other person and me. This is an immensely rewarding feeling.  

And it puts my own problems in life - my gripes and irritations - into perspective. I no longer sweat the small stuff! I believe that it also makes me a better teacher, in that the best teacher is one who listens as much as they are someone who speaks and guides. We have one mouth, but we have two ears - and perhaps this gives the right proportions for us all; we should listen far more than we speak.   

Alan Parks
Head of Mathematics and Samaritan Listener Volunteer

It was only in my late twenties where I started to truly appreciate how lucky I have been in life. I had always been told to remember that I have a roof over my head, food and water on the table, warmth. Many people in developing countries don’t have that. I have people I enjoy spending time with - a family that love me, a great set of friends who want the best for me. Not everyone has that. As a Listener for the Samaritans, my primary role is to listen to the caller, hear their story. When you do this, you realise just how common it is that people, even in our own country, are missing some or even all of these things. I am sure I am not alone in often taking these things for granted. When you work as a Samaritan, there is a lot of confidentiality, you often don’t even know the name of whom you are speaking to, and almost never their location, but I am sure at times there will be calls made by people living in our leafy town of Bruton. I applied to become a Samaritan because I wanted to help people who did not have a supportive network like I am lucky to have.

We all have high points, and if you are anything like me, you will enjoy sharing these with your friends and family. But we also all have low points, most people don’t like to share these quite as much as the good times. There could be a variety of reasons for this, maybe we feel guilty for bring others down, or shame that we aren’t strong enough to deal with it by ourselves, maybe we feel there will be a consequence for telling someone. I think we also need to look at ourselves as family members and friends, how often do we just listen? It is very difficult to hear someone you love tell you when they are feeling low, we feel sad and emotional too, we want to fix the problem, our heart is in the right place, but this isn’t listening and understanding. With purely good intentions, friends often will try to play down a bad situation to try and cheer you up, tell you things will get better, they are usually good at feeling sorry for you. Again this isn’t listening and understanding.

As a Samaritan Listener, my role is to empathise with the caller, get into their hole with them. It is not to sympathise and feel sorry for them, nor is it to fix their problem. This is easier as a Samaritan with someone I don’t know, than as a friend or family member. Most callers need someone to listen to them, they need to verbalise their thoughts, and in doing so become more empowered to get through their difficulty. Some callers want advice, this is not what we offer as Samaritans. How I might deal with a situation might not be right for the caller, it is important that through discussion, the caller is able to come up with solutions themselves. There are some occasions where we might listen to the caller’s worries, signpost a caller to another organisation which can support them, for example with housing or employment, whilst we support them with their emotional wellbeing.

The Samaritans are always looking for more listeners, if it something you have considered in the past, or consider in the future, be aware of how rewarding being a Listener is! Hearing the caller’s change of tone, initially sad and becoming calm and settled is hugely rewarding. Some of the stories you hear are humbling and put your own life into perspective. Whilst they can be tiring and upsetting, they are still rewarding, knowing you have made a difference. Samaritans, as individuals and an organisation, are very supportive of each other and look after you after a difficult conversation, you are never alone.

It would be great if we could all be better listeners. The listening skills I am developing as a Samaritan Listener help me be a better friend and a better teacher, they would help anyone. I remember a quote from a podcast on business negotiation, it said that there is nothing wrong with walking away without a deal, the issue is taking a long time to get no deal. If we were all better at listening, we would be quicker at working out what is important to, and what works for, all parties. Or in some cases, realise that a personal or business relationship isn’t going to be healthy, without wasting a lot of time first!

www.samaritans.org